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My friend likes black girls, but he doesn’t like them too dark!
” Against my better judgment, I assumed that the wingman just wasn’t very good at his job and started talking to his friend anyway.
Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.
Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.
White men have the privilege of not having to actively think about their intersections of race and gender, which is starkly different from black women’s realities.
White men navigate society with relative ease while black women are teetering on the precarious margins of race and gender that they do not have the privilege to ignore.
He kept touching my hair without my consent, was legitimately disappointed that I could not twerk, and called me “sassy” whenever I voiced an opinion that was different from his.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first or last awkward date I’ve had with a white man.
And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!This is not a game to us, nor is it something we can ignore.Our race and gender affects the way we carry ourselves, and this uncomfortable mindfulness is something that white men simply cannot relate to.
So in order to combat the harmful stereotypying of our people, try to compliment us without the caveat! It’s assumed that that everyone belonging to that group thinks and behaves the same way, but that is never – – the case.